Stuck in my head

Track 3 of the CD I mentioned the other day is stuck in my head, and feels strangely appropriate, given the current circumstances. Guess I just have to keep plugging along and praying. Lots of praying.

Kamikaze Squirrel!

I met my mother at the mall today to help her buy a gift for her friend's birthday. On my way home, I watched a squirrel dart out onto a four-lane street, while the one chasing it decided to stay on the curb and wait for me to drive by. Well, when squirrel #1 realized it wasn't being followed, it turned around to run back... and ran into my car. Sadness!! This is the first death associated with my Jeep - although it is the second vehicular-roadkill-death I am responsible for. (the other was a turtle... and in little Bing, the poor thing was like a speedbump!) :(

How sad. Poor dumb squirrel.

Two things for Saturday

Thing #1: Last week, I auditioned with the same operetta company that I performed with in the spring. Early this week, they called to offer me the role of Celia in their upcoming production of Iolanthe. Never had a real role in anything before... exciting and more than a little nerve-wracking!! Hope I can live up to their expectations... Rehearsals actually start already on Monday. I'll keep you posted.

Thing #2: I was lent a CD a week ago (which is now on permanent loan, I think), that I swore I could never listen to again... but ironically, I have been able to listen to only this cd when I have been in my Jeep. Especially track #1, which was specifically pointed out to me. The cd is Sea of No Cares by Great Big Sea. Check it out. Read the lyrics. I like their style. (for different reasons, it both makes me happy and very sad to listen to it, but that's my own kettle of fish.)

Can you tell I'm trying to be a little more positive? It takes an awful effort... but I'm trying.

The end (?) of an eternal week

Two quotes. Very different. Read them, don't read them. Take them seriously, or don't. Comment, argue, agree, ignore. Whatever. Take them or leave them, I don't care. I'm just putting them here. Maybe someone who thinks too hard will try to analyze me... maybe I need to be put in Bergen Pines, maybe I need a swift kick in the butt, maybe I just need a hug.


Deep down, I'm pretty superficial.
-Ava Gardner

A 'no' uttered from the deepest conviction is better and greater than a 'yes' merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.
-Mahatma Gandhi

Question into the void....

Why is it that in listening to what my heart was telling me I have now lost everything? ...direction, purpose, happiness, contentedness, my best friend, my heart itself... gone.

God, why is it that you had to ask me for everything? Where is there love in that? Where is the reason? Why must I have to make such a sacrifice? What is the point?? What lesson am I supposed to learn in having my heart tear in two?

Why is this so?

Do you ever have moments of self revelation/insight (brought on either by personal soul-searching or with the help of others - or both) which lead you to question everything about yourself? It's really frightfully scary and leaves you with no real sense of clarity... at least it seems to be the result I get. All I get is a lot of sturm und drang and then an emotional hangover. Personally, I don't like the lack of control (which is part of the problem, yes I know.). I know that such moments really are beneficial in the whole scheme of things, but at the time, there is an enormous chasm between diagnosing the issues and actually solving them.

Well, there's nothing that can be done about it right now, so I might as well go to bed.

Two more days!

Woo hoo, woo hoo... two more days left of the summer job! It's been a good job, but I will be glad to have it done with. Met some good people, had some fun, ate some cake, answered too many phones... well, I am thankful for it and how it fell into place. I'm sure I'll miss the monotony when I'm back in the classroom again. But at least that won't start just yet... I have a little time before I have to go back! :)

This summer has gone by so amazingly quickly. Didn't I just start this job, not finish eight weeks of it? It's been a fantastic summer so far, though - despite the job, I've been really busy and done a lot of fun things. I guess it's just how it goes - work hard, play hard and then miss president is a happy girl. :)

I've heard of a lot of wierdness....

...but this takes the cake.

My friend Kirsten told me about a blurb she saw on the news about something called Cuddle Parties. Supposedly you go and cuddle with people to help make you a better and more contented person. It's nothing sexual... just cuddling. Interesting and aggreeable in concept - but also kind of skeevy, considering you probably don't know the people!! Look at the site and decide for yourself whether a Cuddle Party is for you. I think I'll pass.

Cliccate su junefourteenth, punto, blogspot, punto, com!

For Christmas 2001, I got a page-a-day calandar of Italian words and phrases. This was something I'd really wanted (since the year before when they sold out around us!) and actually kept it after the year was over. I figure that when I eventually get to Italy, I can use some of the more interesting phrases... just to confuse the locals. Here are a few of the more creative ones....

Dove vai in quel vestino? (Where are you going in that skimpy dress?)
Mi stanno bene questi pantaloni con la zampa d'elefante? (Do these bellbottoms look good on me? - literally: Do these pants with elephant legs look good on me?)
Hanno torvato l'assassino? (Have they found the assassin?)
Smetta di provarci! (Stop hitting on me!) (wait... that one might come in handy with those cheeky Italian men!)

Aren't they fun?! Ciao, bambinos!

Is tomorrow already Monday again?

Why do things like that happen? It's depressing when you realize that one-seventh of your life is actually spent on Monday. Scary.

On Thursday evening, I went to see De-Lovely. I thought it was a good movie - a little lengthy, perhaps, but good. I've been well aware of Cole Porter's music, of course - I sang several of his pieces in college and have heard countless others. It was interesting to learn about his life, at least in the Hollywood storytelling of it. (I should really now investigate to see how truthful they stayed in the retelling.) Kevin Klein made a convincing composer, and Ashley Judd is annoyingly beautiful as Linda Lee Porter, which makes you happy and angry at the same time. The music, of course, was very good - interesting use of the songs, some in the typical movie-musical everyone-joins-in-singing-and-dancing scenarios, but others woven into the story at parties or events or whatnot. Interesting use of people singing, too - pop artists, jazz people, Broadway people, untrained people, etc. I've been loving the soundtrack as well - actually bought it before I saw the film.

Other than that, the weekend was busy. Highlights include painting ceramic pottery, a shoe expidition which yielded no shoes, but instead a book and some dishes, vegging and watching movies, a bridal shower and a girly nails/movie/takeout kind of evening too. I am sleepy - do I really have to go to work tomorrow? Oh, the injustice, the insanity, the unfairness of it all!