Monday, October 31, 2005

Happy Halloween

Today was a pretty good day at work. I got to wear a costume - cheerleader again! - and sneakers, which especially made my day. I had a surprise visitor stop by to take me to lunch (Hurrah for surprises!) and the day went fast. Soon I am off to rehearsal, in which I am just shadowing/understudying. And it was gourgeous today - the weather was beautiful and sunny and lovely. Amoung the trick-or-treaters that I saw tonight were a very large group of high schoolers dressed as.... PIRATES!!! With a pirate ship out on the street! I was amazingly impressed... and a little jealous! I would have loved to have done something like that with a huge group of people!

The one thing about this Halloween I regret is not getting a pumpkin. They were expensive this year, and I kept forgetting. So there is no pumpkin on our porch. Maybe I'll pick one up anyway, if I see them - it's a harvest-y, Thanksgiving-y kind of thing, too!

...and, oh... a good thought.... pumpkin pie... mmmmmmmm.........

Sunday, October 30, 2005

good and not-so-good

I worked too many hours this week. I had to work the entire day on Friday (7:45-7:15) and it was long. Tooo long. And then yesterday I had to work 8:45-12:45, which included a drive down to Elmwood Park. Grr. Sometimes I think that this job is just not a good fit, and I am quite resentful at the fact that I was told that I would work every other Saturday, and the fact is that I get only one off a month. Which will coinside with performances for the show, so it won't even really be a day off.

Yesterday afternoon, however, I enjoyed the fall weather by spending time trying to go to resale shops in the area (all closed!) and visiting garage sales. In the evening, there was a halloweeen party to attend, and it was a great deal of fun. There were a bunch of friends there that I hadn't seen in months - and it was nice to catch up with them. It's funny - I don't think I've ever been invited to a costume party before! I went as a cheerleader - using my quite old cheerleading costume which strangely still fits.

I'm in a strangely contemplative state this morning and so I end with the the following musings - do you ever wish you could just leave your life and step out of it for a while, becoming someone different, or a better "self" or just someone annonymous? Would you like it there? Would you find it interesting for a while, and then want to go back? Would you never come back again, leaving "yourself" behind?

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Several things

First of all HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to the Woods!!! They've been married three years now (I was there, and I remember!) and they are such a great couple. Here's to a lifetime of happy anniversaries!

Second. The special brownies. Yes, they were special. And no, not in an herbal sense! I'll not completely divulge the recipe here, but they contained bits of chocolate and peanut butter in them, for starters. And yeah, they were pretty extraordinary, especially when still warm. mmmmmm.

Third. Two bargains of which I am quite proud to share. $0.17 for a 30-something ounce bottle of water with a sport cap. Dirt cheap! And $1.00 for a big tubes of Colgate whitening toothpaste. Sometimes the bargains just seem to find me! (yes, I'm a bargain dork. but hey, I save money so it's a winning situation for me!)

Fourth. Cool mail. Got two things in the mail today that are noteworthy. One of the drugs I use sent me a toothbrush, toothbrush holder and a coupon. I also got a sample I requested, a razor to try. They actually sent me a whole package, with 4 reserve blades. That's got to be at least $6!! Cool and free!

Last. This past weekend, among other things, I went to see Elizabethtown. Although the critics seem to have hated it, I enjoyed it. It was interesting to intersperse such highs and lows together - death, falling in love, discovery - and I loved the road-trip at the end. Honestly, I didn't expect the ending that they gave us, but was certainly fine with it - although I would have been ok with what I expected as well. Anyway, I'd reccomend it. It's a good date movie, as it is not a chick-flick and will appeal to both sexes.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Technological Frustration

Ok, so I don’t understand computers. I know how to turn them on and off, how to do various programs with them, even how to write a little HTML code. (very little!) But anyway, my computer has died. Kicked the bucket. Is pushing up daisies. Finito. Yeah, that’s it... we’re planning a funeral. However, I am lucky to have my old friend the laptop with me again, here at home instead both of us to Florida. Bah for dumb computers!

I baked an apple pie today, with apples from my previous apple-picking excursion. It was amazingly yummy, if I do say so myself! :) I’ve just been quite the baker recently, making “Special brownies” on Sunday. Also a successful attempt. Just call me Betty! Hmm… but in that lies a name change to the site, from Miss President to Miss (or Mrs.) Crocker! :) Bec, I didn't wear my apron, though - I've been told that it is an "entertaining" apron, not a "kitchen" apron. (but I wanted to wear it anyway!)

Pictures of the apple picking and the pie making may be posted soon. They are about to be developed and I will try to get them up for curious readers! :)

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Oh! In other news...

While typing my last post, I remembered that I didn't post about the previous weekend! I went down to Belmar and Great Adventure (to go to Fright Fest). Well, when we went into town to get some food, we saw a fall festival - and in the midst of it was a bloodmobile. So, for the very first time in my life, I gave blood. And I did a good job - I didn't freak out or anything! :) I'm proud of it, so I wanted to share. It's something I've talked about doing for a long time, but was afraid and didn't go... but now that I've done it, I know it won't be a big deal when I go again!

Apples, Apples, Poohsticks, Fall and FEAR (ce)..... take 2

Hi again. I mentioned that I would post about Sunday, and finally I am. :)

So... on Sunday, I went apple picking at Masker Orchards. The cool thing about them is that you can bring your car right into the orchard, which was tremendous fun in my Jeep! :) There were some great varieties that were ripe and we had a beautiful day in which to do the picking! Afterwards, we went into Warwick to wander and get some lunch - such a great town! While there, we played Poohsticks in the very swolen stream... what fun!
We then drove around a bit and enjoyed the beautiful fall day before going to investigate the Forest of Fear. (There were signs along the road that just said "FEAR" and had an arrow, pointing.) We got there when it opened, which was perhaps a mistake in that we had to wait on line for the haunted house in the chilly night air... but yay for Hot Chocolate! The carnival rides were looking sketchy, but we went on the gravatron and the scrambler, and listened to the live music, provided by Future 86.
It was a fun fall day, and now I am planning to make an apple pie with all of the lovely apples we picked. Who wants a piece??

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Apples, Apples, Poohsticks, Fall and FEAR (ce).....

Those words summed up today's adventure. A beautiful fall day was enjoyed and I will post about it at another time because I am so sleepy after such a busy day that I know that tomorrow will come way too soon.

Why is it that you have to trudge through 5 or 6 days of work to get to 1 or a lucky 2 days of fun? It's just not fair!

Saturday, October 15, 2005

mmmmm...... chocolate!

Finally, with a faster connection, I can share a picture that makes me laugh. Marisa took it during the girls' night dinner at the Melting Pot a few weeks ago. (more pics of the event are available for viewing at her blog) We had a great time, and my penchant for chocolate is evident!

...for anyone interested, it was dark chocolate with Amaretto and Oreos sprinkled on top... and came with a plate of goodies to dip, such as brownie bits, marshmellows, strawberries, banannas, and cheesecake. Yum.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Mr. Smartypants

My life has been made easier, and it is all Matt's fault. :)

Up until now, there has been one computer in this house... mine. It is in my room, and has been hooked up to dial-up since I moved back home, 4 (four?!?) years ago. The 'ol Gateway served us well, but last year I was given a reconfigured computer which was better. But now it wasn't doing so great, so in comes my technical genious to save the day (and the fair maiden from having her room be grand central for internet access!). Anyway, he brought with him loads of computer stuff and now "my" computer is downstairs (and running much better)and there is a different-and-better one up here. Both are networked and both are using DSL. Oh, I could write a whole post on the joy of DSL alone! I could write quite a lengthy post on the virtues of knowing smart, technological people. Especially those who are also cute and sweet and wonderful, and give up an unexpected free evening to be driven crazy with my computer problems...

... and bring me a cool ladybug-mouse. Te amo, caro mio!

Friday, October 07, 2005

Comments on comments

Marisa, I'd love to start a support group. :) We could knit and figure ourselves out. :)

Angela, thanks for the note. Yeah, while I don't necesarially have the confidence that I perhaps should, this incident was unusually severe in terms of my stress level. I'm not usually like that, even though I don't handle stress as I should. Thank you for the sound advice. :)

...Oh, and the dance lesson was a lot of fun. There were people of varying ages - I thought we'd be the babies of the class, but there is a younger couple, perhaps high school or early college? Unfortunately, we ended up next to people who obviously know how to dance, which was frustrating. But it was a good start, and we should be practicing as "homework". Our next class is this coming Tuesday - last week there was none because of the school holiday. We certainly won't become like the people in "Swing Kids" overnight, but we're making a start. :)

Sunday, October 02, 2005


Sometimes we stumble upon things in our lives that we realize we need to fix. Usually, it takes the thing happening to realize it, since we don't tend to think about things like that unless they are in front of us. One of mine is how I deal with stress.
I have had a stressful two weeks of training for my new job, which culminated in taking a test at work to prove I had learned and was competent to work on my own. I went into it confidently, knowing that I was comfortable with most of what would be expected of me. The test had two parts, a practical and a written - practical first. I had two hours, and so I got to work. The beginning of the practical was fine, and I was feeling like everything was under control. Things got harder as I progressed along, but I was handling it. Then I got to the last three tasks... and hit a wall. They were things I'd only read about, but never had the opportunity to see or do myself. And I realized how unprepared for that I was. I started crashing and burning and at that point, the built-up stress inside reached its boiling part. I felt sick and was sure of failure. I didn't know what to do and yet tried anyway, but felt that it was all wrong. Finally, I just had to give up and admit defeat, at which point I had to take the written part of the test. It was short, and I knew what I was doing, but I had lost all confidence and wanted to run as fast as I could out the door before I burst into tears. Strangely enough, they were kind to me and did not count the end of my practical, since I had not had a chance to actually do those things before. Which gave me a 92 on both sections, passing successfully. Yet I felt emotionally drained from the whole experience.
So, herein lies the problem. I get discouraged and frustrated and I take it all internally, which stresses me out completely. Unfortunately, it makes me lose my confidence and manifests itself in other ways in my life... which makes it all the more frustrating. I can put on a good front, but I guess I just don't believe in myself enough. I am afraid of too many things, the biggest of them being failure. I am afraid of change, and yet crave it. I want to do big things, and yet seem to lack the confidence to jump in headfirst and pursue them. I know some things that I want for my life, but can't seem to figure out how to get from point A to B.
I really don't expect to get any answers here; I just needed to vent.