(no, not actual deer, although we've been seeing many more lately... poor babies, being driven out of their homes by McMansion construction-influx. Grr.)
So. stress has not abated - I thought that after 5 school concerts and a mental-health day on Friday I would be more sane... but no. Tonight is the G&S thing in the city and getting into the city is proving to be a disaster. Originally, I was planning on going with some fellow fairy friends - but there seems to be a plan in the works to go to some bar somewhere in a not great neighborhood afterwards, and since I have to sing tomorrow morning and tomorrow evening, such a plan isn't so kosher for me. So now I am throwing everything on its head to try to get in and out without driving, since traffic will be a nightmare the weekend before Christmas. Luckily the ferry is still running, and mom is going to be an absolute angel and come with me so I am not wandering the city alone, if the girls decide to go to the bar. Of course, though, a little nasty voice in the back of my head can come up with a much more pleasant way this whole scenario could have taken, and proceeded to incessantly remind me of it all last night and this morning during choir rehearsal. But obviously the "nicer" plan is about as far from reality as it is possible to be.
Extremely tired. Pretty cranky. Very stressed. Not feeling so great, which is freaking me out for tonight. Nervous. Cold. Amazingly frustrated on so many levels. And now depressed even more due to seeing that DeLovely is coming out on DVD this Tuesday. (much the same feeling as when I saw that The Terminal was also coming to DVD.) Not merry. Still running unrealistic scenarios and old memories through my head, which I know is not helpful in the least, but unfortunately I can't seem to stop them.
Why did I have to make my life like this?????????? Grr.
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