Sunday, April 13, 2008

tired

Feeling very tired, and it makes me a bit blue. (hence the color choice.) I often feel tired... it is something I just have to accept about my life. I don't sleep enough. I run like a crazy person a lot for work. I worry a lot, which is tiring. I take pills that help keep me healthy, but also make me tired. But sometimes the tiredness just catches up with you and you wish you could just disappear somewhere quiet, warm, and cozy and just sleep and sleep and sleep until all of that tiredness disappears. But the kicker is that often too much sleep will... shock of shocks... make you tired. So it seems to be a vicious cycle.

Time apparently flying also is something that adds to tiredness. This past week simply flew. That's both good and awful. This whole year has flown by... it feels like it was Christmas yesterday (practically) and spring break is almost upon me. As soon as spring break is over, school will be a race to get a million things done in what will seem like a week's time. And I will worry and stress and flip out more which will lead to... more tiredness. Oy.

They always tell you as a kid to enjoy the fact that life goes slow in childhood because it speeds up as you get older. That is so amazingly true... but I never expected it to go this fast. I feel so left behind in it - I can't keep up with the speed of things around me, which is why I struggle to get anything and everything accomplished. I can only manage the "must-do" things and everything else seems to be left on the sidelines, piling up. This is hard to deal with and I then stress and worry about that, too. And you already know where that can lead...

So now in my bone-tired and blue state, I will attempt to prepare my stuff for this week's work-week, clean my bathroom and hopefully make myself lunch for tomorrow and sort through some files and clutter on my floor... things being listed in the order that they might be accomplished. I'll be surprised if I get through the first two, even though I want to do them all.

Yawn.

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