Oh, the sadness!

How sad is this? Jerry Orbach is dead! What an amazing shock! I love him! Lennie Briscoe! Lumiere! Oh, dear man, how sad.
And it's scary - prostate cancer. Every time I see that happen in the news, I thank God that Dad has now been cancer-free for over 10 years. It makes you thankful for the little things.

Check out Becky's eulogy. It's more eloquent than mine. But I have the same sentiment. We both love him. :)

Lose Pesky Holiday Pounds Fast!

Do you overeat during the holidays? Too much turkey? Gallons of eggnog? Piles of cookies? Don't fret! Try this lose-quick method today! The stomach flu!

Yes, you too can feel absolutely wretched for days on end! You can eat whatever you want! (if you can bear the thought of eating at all!) Total body detoxification is the key - and if you're lucky, you'll become dehydrated and have a lovely fever, too! Those pesky holiday pounds will just slip away!


As you smart ones can now guess, I got one gift this year that was unwanted... and I know the giver (mom) wishes she hadn't shared, either. The past two+ days have left me feeling like a little more than a dishrag. Talk about unpleasant and exhausting... not to mention that I look oh so beautiful with my hair standing on end and no color in my face at all. Woo hoo, what a hottie! At least I know I am on the mend, although I am certainly not ready to go out and dance on a table. (have I ever?)

Merry Boxing Day!

Hope your Christmases were all merry and bright, and that Santa brought everyone the gifts they wanted!

Christmas Eve was better than anticipated. We picked up Dad at work promptly at three and headed for the Island of Long... expecting that it would take hours to get to my brother's house. Shocked were we when it took only 90 minutes, a miracle in anyone's book! The house is very nice - they have done loads of work on it and the kitchen is incredible. The kids, of course, were amazingly wired... my nephew Patrick spent a good half-hour literally running in circles around the house!

The drive home was also amazingly uneventful (and as short as the drive out!) and we opened a few things before bed. Poor Mom ended up being sick all night with a nasty stomach flu which kept her on the couch all day Christmas Day... leaving me in charge of cooking the turkey. It couldn't wait, since it was defrosted, so I had to do it. I was successful, too! Never expected to be cooking my first Christmas dinner yesterday, but we had turkey breast, baked pasta, broccoli and cranberry-orange relish. (the full production was not necessary for a meal that only Dad and I ate.)

It certainly wasn't the Christmas I expected on many levels... Christmas is a time of surprises, and I for one wanted to believe that this year, yet I didn't think I could. But maybe I was wrong...

Merry

Well, readers (the few of you that there are!) I want to wish you all the Merriest of Christmases. May you find much joy and love in time spent together with loved ones in celebration. Peace and love to you all.

"Do not be afraid. I bring you good tidings of great joy that

shall be for all people. For unto us is born this day in the city

of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord." Luke 2:10-11

P.S: Remember others, especially those who are sacrificing much to keep us safe. Operation Dear Abby

is it true?

July 16, 2005! Harry Potter #6!

Monday again

Well, that concert crisis did, of course, work out.... eventually. I did end up going with the fairies, and we did take the ferry, which is still in existance, although it is a ticking time bomb in terms of when it will stop. We did not go out afterwards, which was good on several levels. The concert itself was interesting, but being that I was not in good voice I was frustrated with myself and my singing. Yesterday's music extravaganzas at church went fine, and I made it through better than I anticipated. Now it's just to get through work craziness for a few days before I can run and hide for a little while on Christmas vacation. Sleep sounds nice. As does quiet.

Quote of the day:

"Not only is she a good choir teacher,

but she's a good cook, too!"

Thanks, John. You don't know it, but you made my day.

Deer in the headlights

(no, not actual deer, although we've been seeing many more lately... poor babies, being driven out of their homes by McMansion construction-influx. Grr.)

So. stress has not abated - I thought that after 5 school concerts and a mental-health day on Friday I would be more sane... but no. Tonight is the G&S thing in the city and getting into the city is proving to be a disaster. Originally, I was planning on going with some fellow fairy friends - but there seems to be a plan in the works to go to some bar somewhere in a not great neighborhood afterwards, and since I have to sing tomorrow morning and tomorrow evening, such a plan isn't so kosher for me. So now I am throwing everything on its head to try to get in and out without driving, since traffic will be a nightmare the weekend before Christmas. Luckily the ferry is still running, and mom is going to be an absolute angel and come with me so I am not wandering the city alone, if the girls decide to go to the bar. Of course, though, a little nasty voice in the back of my head can come up with a much more pleasant way this whole scenario could have taken, and proceeded to incessantly remind me of it all last night and this morning during choir rehearsal. But obviously the "nicer" plan is about as far from reality as it is possible to be.

Extremely tired. Pretty cranky. Very stressed. Not feeling so great, which is freaking me out for tonight. Nervous. Cold. Amazingly frustrated on so many levels. And now depressed even more due to seeing that DeLovely is coming out on DVD this Tuesday. (much the same feeling as when I saw that The Terminal was also coming to DVD.) Not merry. Still running unrealistic scenarios and old memories through my head, which I know is not helpful in the least, but unfortunately I can't seem to stop them.

Why did I have to make my life like this?????????? Grr.

Am I crazy or am I just S.A.D?

Beware... there is much grumbling ahead. If you don't want to read about it (and I can't say I blame you!) then you should just come back another day. How about doing something positive instead?

Considering how Scrooge/Eeyore/Grumpy/etc I am feeling this Christmas season, I have been reminded of the fact that there is a special brand of depression known as Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. It has to do mostly with the fact that your body is reacting to the lack of natural light that it is exposed to (vastly less than the summer) and therefore makes you depressed, gain weight, sleepy, etc. This perhaps refers to me, but I think my gloominess is due more to the fact that the world puts so much emphasis on "the holidays"... and personally, it never seems to live up to my prefabricated expectations. I guess I miss childhood's naive vision of it all, with all of its magic and mystery. I guess, too, that the person I was this summer had me, quite early, looking ahead to a magical Christmas that isn't going to exist. I hate, too, that my job makes me irritable about this time of year, too. I have five school concerts this week. One is done, four to go. And then church stuff, too, which I am sadly not doing with any kind of a joyful or generous spirit. I can't even listen to much Christmas music, which is usually my favorite.

This time of year is supposed to be a season of joy, faith, good tidings to all and peace on earth. A magical time of year with surprises and miracles and secrets wrapped in shiny paper. Of friendship and family and love. And I wish I felt better about it all. Of course, I will celebrate. I will sing, conduct, give generously, find things to be thankful for, pray. Try to hold on to hope... and faith. Hope that the New Year will bring better tidings.

P.S. Happy half-birthday to me. Woo hoo.
P.S.2. Boy have I written something majorly depressing. Maybe I need some happy pills. Or a drink. Or a massage. Or just run away and join the circus.
P.S.3. Don't worry about my mental state. I usually don't share like this, and am a fairly good chameleon. I can manage to look all perky and cheerful and full of Christmas spirit. I just vent a lot here.

speechless

This is just bizarre. I think this person is on crack.

Now who's the stupidhead?

Ding ding ding! I win! Smack the "L" on my forehead!

This weekend, the Iolanthe gang has our last concert appearance. (besides the one for the Manhattan G&S people) Now, being that we had no rehearsals this week, I didn't think about it much. So this morning, I had to go to a choir rehearsal - then I ended up running errands, which took longer than anticipated. Which made me late getting home, and put me into a tizzy in terms of showering and getting ready to go and pick up Heather and drive down to Teaneck. I was a little tardy in picking her up and as we were driving away from her house, she said, "I could have sworn that the concert was tomorrow!" Yeah. It is tomorrow. Good thing we didn't even make it down the street.

I'm a winner. What can I say? Maybe I can make excuses and blame it on my current mental status? Next week's five school concerts are more than enough to affect mental health, added to the whole holiday depression gloominess... or maybe I really am just a stupidhead.

What a stupidhead.

I heard about this story through a dear friend who recently migrated to Minnesota:

Supposedly, there was a man breaking into houses in the Minneapolis area... naked. A police officer and K-9 dog responded, and the naked man became very defensive and combattive in the apprehension. So... the dog did what he was trained to do. Attack. And what what area are the dogs trained to aim for?

Really, how dumb can you be, cold, stupid and (now) castrated man?!? Certainly not the sharpest tool in the shed! And if you really wanted to rob houses in Minnesota, why in the world are you doing it naked... and in December? It's got to be cold enough to freeze off any part of the body not attacked by dogs!

photos

I've been meaning to link up to these pics taken when Becky came for the weekend, but never got to it until right now. Here's the marquis of the Loew's Theatre, and one of a fairy and a mortal - it's amazing how frightening stage makeup looks up close! I hope that some of my fellow actors will share digitals taken this weekend at the home shows - if they do, I'll post those as well.

"We know it's weakness....

...but the weakness is so strong!"

With the Iolanthe weekend extravaganza now drawn to a close, here are a few remarks on the whole thing...

1. My first role. Wow. And as a.... soprano? Who'dve thought?
2. Strangely, I'm going to miss the big sparkly eyelashes and glitter!
3. Funny comment - this past week, during the finale when we all get paired off and the queen sentences us all to death, Tololler turned to me and (quietly) said, "well, there goes the honeymoon!" good thing I didn't bust out laughing!
4. Us young fairies are already planning a "fairy reunion weekend" down the shore, complete with marathons of Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter (and hopefully some candy sushi!)
5. Speaking of Harry, there was much dueling was done backstage with our wands... Expelliarmus!
6. The Lord Chancellor's teddy bear (complete with fairy wings I made for it!) made it out to curtain calls tonight with our baby fairies! hurrah!
7. Boy, am I glad I didn't turn this role down. I came close... dangerously close, considering that I got the call on the night of the 23rd of August. I think it serendipidous that I forced myself to accept!

Two more concert performances over two more weekends and then this production of Iolanthe will be history. A sad thought, but a happy memory, too.

IOLANTHE WEEKEND PLANS

It is certainly an IOLANTHE weekend extravaganza! I will be quite busy tripping hither, tripping thither in all of my fairy glory - and here is the 411 on all of the plans:


TONIGHT: Between 7 and 8, we'll all be singing at the Town&Country Pharmacy in Ridgewood as a part of the tree-lighting festivities. Come on by and see us!

TOMORROW: 8pm performance at the Ben Franklin Middle School, Glen and VanDien Avenues, Ridgewood (next to Valley Hospital).

SUNDAY: 3pm performance, same place as above.

Tickets are $20 for adults and $17 for students and seniors. Information: (973) 423-0300 or www.ridgewoodgands.com


Do not go and defy us, you great geese!! :)

to knit or not to knit?

maybe I will just quit teaching and go into knitting full time. yeah. good idea. it's got to be more peaceful and less stressful, right? I made those adorable little car-booties for a friend-of-a-friend (and got paid! woo hoo!) and now it appears that there might be a market for such things on commission... hmmm....

Books

I finally finished Finding Faith, by Jodi Picoult. I'd read Becky's review of it and thought it sounded interesting, so I borrowed it. Well, yes, it was interesting... and somewhat bizarre, too. A little girl, interestingly named Faith, is convinced she is speaking with/interacting with God (in an imaginary-friend type of way)... and this actually gives her the power to heal people... and also curses/blesses her with stigmata... and she quotes Biblical things (including in Hebrew) despite all lack of any religious training... and she refers to God as a woman. Hmmm. Of course, there is the whole media frenzy associated with such things as well, including interaction with a character who is a "tele-atheist", and thrown in for good measure we have a case of marital infidelity and a nasty custody battle, in which one parent had been a psychiatric patient in the past due to a suicide attempt. Merky, no?

Interesting, from many points - controversial, definitely... which is what drew me to it. It is certainly not a "religious" book by any stretch, although it questions religions - namely Christianity and Judaism. It was a quick read, which was good - such subject matters could bog the reader down into really dark, troubled waters. I'd say read it and see what you think.

Tried starting a "chick lit" book this weekend - What A Girl Wants by Kristin Billerbeck. It was a gift from my aunt - but I am putting it away for now, since the main character is partially too familiar at the moment (depressed singleton in life crisis) and since I can already guess the inevitable outcome. I guess I'm not in the mood for formulaic happy endings. I guess I'll finish Things You Should Know By Now and then perhaps I will revert to an old friend, which may be the basis of a lot of chick-lit, but at least is more academic, complicated, and well written....

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife...

Reflections on a trip to Manhattan

Yesterday, mom and I had some girl-time in the city. I have stayed away in recent months, hiding from some fond but now sad summer memories, but it was time to suck it up and face my demons. We took the ferry in, which is the best and most enjoyable way to go – and hopefully the company will not fold, as has been talked about in current weeks. The beautiful QM2 was docked across the river – lovely and depressing all at the same time, since there were no tickets with my name on them! Our main goal of the day was to visit the American Girl Place – and it is quite a production! Three floors of my childhood dreams come true, including a café and a theatre. However, with the enormous influx of people in the city, we stayed only briefly in the store, since it was hard to navigate through the crowds! (there are already plans to return on a quiet day.) We tried seeing the windows at Saks, but the line was huge. We took a look at the Rockefeller tree (ready to be lit on Tuesday) and the skaters, who always make me envious… I’ve grown up a stone’s throw from it all and never been skating there! Saw an enormous Rolls Royce in front of the Dahesh Museum – did not go in to the exhibit, but wandered through their museum shop. We had lunch at a little diner, looked at more shops, and wandered as far as Bloomingdales, whose windows have recreated scenes from the upcoming movie The Phantom of the Opera, complete with set pieces and costumes. I hope that the genre of film will make it better than the stage production, since they can do more with locations, effects, etc. It was a chilly day and we walked for miles in the concrete jungle, but it was some good bonding time.

Gobble gobble gobble...

Happy Thanksgiving to one and all!
It might sound cliche, but we really all do have so much to be thankful for - and I for one often tend to forget that. Despite my grumblings and gloominess, I really am quite fortunate and actually do need to stop every once in a while and count my blessings. And, dear ones, they include you.

So... don't forget what my college choir director always told us... remember, you are what you eat... you turkeys! :)

a little movie quote for Turkey day:
"Happy Thanksgiving.... you're supposed to say, 'Happy Thanksgiving' back."
"Happy Thanksgiving Back."
"Knock, Knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
"Orange you going to let us zip this card through? Zip Zip?"

"... they make me think of fishing..."

Hola, personas locas. Yo soy loca tambien, y yo tengo tres frijoles en mi bosillo ahora mismo.

So. This weekend. It went tres fast. On Friday night, I actually saw Alisa for dinner... the poor girl was hit by a car (as a pedestrian!!) three weeks ago, and suffered a massive concussion and jaw issues. It was nice to catch up, poor sweetie. Saturday brought a church choir rehearsal (unfortunately, I succumbed to the "I'll sing just for the Cantata" scenario), followed by Becky arriving! :) Then it was off to a concert performance... at which I decided to try to be trendy and wear fishnet tights... and received a comment from one of the men in the show about the fact that they were interesting and made him think of... fishing. (I don't know if that's not creepier than some kind of dirty comment!) Anyway, the concert was followed by a pilgrimage to Ikea - where Bec and I collectively spent a grand total of two dollars and eight cents, if you can believe it! We decided to forgo the customary meatballs in lieu of California Pizza Kitchen for dinner, however. Mmmmm....! Sunday we trekked out to Jersey City to perform at the Loew's Theatre (a little confusing to get there, perhaps, but an amazingly beautiful venue!) - and we did a nice job, too - well, at least I think we did! Dinner out with the parents rounded out the weekend. Busy!!

I must say I am enjoying my stint as a fairy. Perhaps the costume isn't as fairylike as we'd all like (more 50's prom dress than woodland fairy) but with all of the hair and the wand and the wings and the glitter it becomes more plausible, and the sheer silliness of it all is quite appealing. And it's been good therapy to be doing this... you've all heard of music therapy and art therapy - roleplaying is a good separation from reality, and I find the 'happy-ending' scenario to be a nice diversion from the monotony of the everyday life of this disgruntled music teacher who is desperate for her life to change but is also monumentally afraid of failure in making said changes... if she only could figure out what it is she should be doing with her life, that is!

If you're tired, but you can't sleep...

...just count your blessings instead of sheep, and you'll fall asleep counting your blessings!

Oh, Rosemary Clooney in White Christmas. It's almost time for a movie or two like that! Especially The Miracle on 34th Street. Must be watched on Thanksgiving weekend.

I randomly found that song in my head for several reasons. One - it's one of Becky's favorite movies, and she is coming this weekend! "Now we are so happy, we do the dance of joy!" (can you reference that quote?) Another reason is that it is a gloomy, movie kind of a day, and I am quite the fan of old movies. Yet another is that in my trying-not-to-be-so-blue mode, I am looking for things to be thankful for - and the fact that it is Friday is a big one. Gloria Deo, this week is over. On to the weekend, complete with a concert and a performance, which is bound to be fun, especially with a friend mixed in! :) It will make the craziness of the next few weeks a little more bearable, I hope!

Question to people more knowledgable about cars... why does my Jeep sometimes roll forward even if I put it into reverse and hit the gas? Is it that it is not fully in gear? And also because my parking space has a slight dip in the front? It freaks me out when it does this... I feel like something is tremendously wrong, but then it drives beautifully. Hmm. **shrug**

Change of plans...

I was going to rant and rave about stuff at work and life in general, but I deleted it all. Instead I will say this, and hopefully remember why I thought it was important in the first place. It's something I really do need to learn...

We would never learn to be brave and patient
if there were only joy in the world.
-Helen Keller

Happy Happy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOMMY!
:) I love you! (:

And so it begins....

This weekend we had our first show, in Connecticut. After the awful dress rehearsal last week, I feared a disaster... partially my own, since I botched up several lines and am still riding out the end of this blasted sickness. But the CT show was good, with minimal glitches and an excellent audience. :) Yay. And then a concert performance on Sunday hindered only by the fact that we all went to the wrong place first (because of directions given to everyone!)... things get busy from here on out with most weekends double booked. And imagine my shock when I open up the community newspaper for the town I work in and find a picture of myself, all fairied up, with an announcement that the music teacher is in a show! (Hey - it improves my popularity - the kids all think I'm famous now!)

The musings of the disgruntled and damp music teacher

About 90% of the time, it's really frustrating to have your office out in an awful trailer. True, people don't know where you are so they don't go looking for you, but especially on days like today (rainy, cold and dark) it's far from ideal to have to lug loads of junk and remember your coat. And with no overhang over the door, you get soaked trying to open it. Add to that the fact that I was told that I would have to flip my entire schedule upside down in order to hold rehearsals for the first grade holiday concert, including rescheduling my lunch to 8:35am one day if I "want" to practice with the children. (no, of course he didn't use those words, but it was implied.) And being told that I could not have a full-day substitute one day as to have time to rehearse - I can have a sub in the morning, since I will be with my other kids for my other concert, and I can have coverage for the last class of that day, but not the rest. Does that make any sense? No, but it comes from the man who comments on the fact that you have a mug or water bottle with you in the classroom and tells you that you're not interacting with the students enough during lunch duty. (no kid wants to talk to you while they are eating, stupidhead!) And since you don't have a classroom, there is a large implication on behalf of some teachers that you are just there to cover their prep, not actually teach the students something. What you do isn't important - she just sings songs with the kids all day, right? grumble grumble grumble. I guess it's just affirmation that for once I made the right life-choice - that keeping this up would really drive me batty.

Oh, how I wish for Prince Charming to rescue the blue music teacher and whisk her away from such bureaucratic monotony. Hey - something as simple as a cozy couch, roaring fire and some hot chocolate would be heaven!

quote and other randomness

Well, I dragged myself through work today, very begrudgingly (sp). I totally resented being there. (16 more paychecks, 16 more paychecks...) I have really been trying to combat the grey cloud over my head, but with all of the sickness and whatnot it appears to have gotten darker and cloudier. I guess life is just giving me a real pothole-laiden road for a good long stretch... something which could be fun in my Jeep, but since I am walking... well, it's just not cool.

Oh yeah. here's the quote, before I forget:
"I ate the fuzzy mints. They tasted like keys."
-Lorelai Gilmore, in a very hungry mood on an old episode I watched while sick.


Ok. Off to watch Regency House Party. (too bad there is no Mr. Darcy!)

New Book

As horrible as it is to say, I stopped reading for a while. I was reading too many deep-thinking and relationship-self-help books that I was going crazy, so for now all of those books are put aside. So in my illness, I picked up a novel. Becky had mentioned something she read a while back that sounded interesting to me, so I borrowed it from her. It's ironic that its subject matter follows my old pattern in a way, but it is strangely intriguing. I'll talk more about it once I've finished.

sick, sick, sick, grumble, grumble, grumble.

Yeah. So it's official. I'm really sick. Called out of work today and went to the doctor, who said I'm on on the border of pneumonia. He's given me some real grown-up drugs (from Germany - maybe like my uber-pills?) which should hopefully make me feel like a new person in a day or two. No work for me tomorrow, either, which will throw off everything I need to do this week, but O well.

The big concern is Saturday - our first Iolanthe performance, up in CT. As of right now, I am in no condition to sing (and barely have a voice at all)... but I have worked far too long and far too hard for this, so I am willing myself well. And praying a lot. And stressing out.

Grumble. Cough. Grumble.

grumble.

Sick. On a blasted day off from school/long weekend. Just my luck... it figures.

Reading...

I actually had the time today to read the local newspaper, a rarity that I enjoy. Here's a recap of what I found inside...

Section A: The main section
People in the news: did you know that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston bought Jamie Oliver’s house in London? They think Europe is a great place to raise children.
Section B: The business section (Didn’t open it up. Who cares about business?)
Section F: (Features) Thurs. is Shopping and Entertainment
“Turn of the Tied: Neckwear makes a comeback among the fashion-conscious”
Article obviously on neckties, and one guy mentions that he buys them as travel souvenirs from places he has visited. Pink is a hot color for ties this year.
Bill Ervolino: I didn’t know that people say that Ringwood Manor is haunted!! I’ve been there a million times! How did I not know this?!
Dear Abby: Scroll down to the very bottom of the column. How strangely ironic that Abby printed that limerick today. (I can actually remember the last time I heard it, too… April 30th of this year, in a playhouse in Montclair, NJ.)
Section L: Local (and Religion on Thursdays)
It appears that my hometown voted for Bush and not Kerry, even though we ended up being a "blue" state. They published vote tallies town by town, and here in Snobville, Bush got 2,758 and Kerry got 2,210. I think it’s funny that one local town only had 21 people vote – 7 and 14 votes, respectively.
I don’t ever read the Religion section, but for some reason I read the lead article today: Christianity’s future may lie in the ‘global south’. It talks about the Anglican Church primarily, and the fact that half of the world’s Anglicans are African. The thing about it that caught my eye, though, was the fact that the author heavily quoted some important guy from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. Their hill was the best for dining-hall-tray sledding at night in winters past.

Last thing of note: Today in Rome they were expecting clouds and a high of 72F, London was to get rain and a chilly 55. Prague was expecting clouds and low 60’s. Even though the temperatures aren’t tremendous, I’d take any of the locales in a heartbeat!

To Vote or not to Vote....

(don't worry. I did my civic duty. I just thought it would be an interesting title.)

It will be interesting to see how everything pans out with this insane election.... are we back to the land of the unknown winner, where we must recount and look for pregnant Chads? (do you know what "chad" stands for? I do!) At lunchtime, I went to my old elementary school today and voted. Some buttons were pressed for Democrats. Some for Republicans. I guess it's my perogative, considering I'm registered Non-Partisan. Who knows if any of the people I voted for will win or not! With the country in so much uncertainty, I guess we just have to hope that our new/current President will do a good job with the mess he's got, right? It's not like the Washington underlings don't have all of the power anyway....

It's sad that I am more interested in the fact that we got the day off from school! :)

Halloween 2004

Happy All Hallows Eve to you!
A quick update of things since my last post.

* I ended up being quite boring in my costume choice for Friday. I wore my pajamas, a robe, slippers, and carried a bear. The kids all wanted to know what I was (if they didn't think I was a doctor, which was often guess #1....)

* Saw a play on Thursday night with a fellow Iolanthe fairy.... A Servant of Two Masters. It was very funny and well done. Bravo, Brighella, if you read this.

* All day rehearsal yesterday for Iolanthe. With 5 rehearsals to go before our first show, shouldn't the director stop trying to re-block the scenes???

* I'm not into horoscopes, but was curious as to what my "Costume horoscope" was, so here it is: Geminis may enjoy dressing as a dictionary or Scrabble board this Halloween. Born under the sign of the Twins, this sign might also pair up and go as a famous duo. Bert and Ernie, Mary Kate and Ashley, or Bonnie and Clyde are all great choices. Well, considering I had nowhere to go, and no friends to go with, I have not donned a costume today. Maybe I'll just eat the chocolate that we bought for the zero trick-or-treaters we've had ring our bell.

* Do you ever think that you are getting a handle on one of the crazy-out-of-control pieces of your life just to have life throw it back into your face?

* I am frightening myself with the crazy thoughts of running away lately. It's amazing how attractive it seems. I know it wouldn't do me much good - life would just catch up with me - but the little voice keeps telling me to run anyway... and fast!

Red Ribbon Week

This week is National Red Ribbon Week - anti-drugs, etc. Our school participates with a whole week of events -

Monday: Team up against drugs - wear sports team stuff
Tuesday: Tie one on against drugs - wear a tie
Wednesday: Turn your back on drugs - wear clothes backwards
Thursday: Drugs and I don't mix - mismatched clothing day
Friday: Say "boo" to drugs - wear costumes (but only after lunch)

I wasn't around Monday, which is good since I have no sports things, but I wore a tie and had (some) clothes on backwards and today was quite the sight - a striped sweater, multicolored scarf, my red Hawaiian print skirt, rainbow tights and purple shoes. A chuckle occurred when a first grader said to me, "But Miss President, you aren't wearing mismatched things!"

...I still need to decide what to do for tomorrow...
Do some good!

Happy Cotton Anniversary, Woods!

Happy 2nd Anniversary, Mr. and Mrs. Peter Wood! Thanks for being a good example of a healthy relationship for those of us who are more relationally challenged. Year two of the marriage is supposedly the "cotton" anniversary... and I contemplated sending you a bag of cotton balls or some Q-tips... but, alas, I did not get so creative. So enjoy the thought, if you can! :)

It's funny... Peter's post for today mentioned 63,072,000 Seconds... and ironically I was recently contemplating a post with similar number equivalents, on a whole range of topics... maybe I will do that some time this week... since computer time at the moment is short.

Reflections on the Weekend... a long post.

Back from the wedding weekend of my cousin Dawn, now Mrs. John West. It was a crazy-busy trip, and I will be glad to slow down and sleep in my own bed after such a weekend!

Left home at 6am Friday to get to the airport. Flight at 9-something. Arrived in Jacksonville close to 12. Waited for my Aunt to arrive from CO, then got the car and drove 2 hours to where my grandparents live. Visited with them, then slept at the lodge. Left there Saturday around 10am (grandmother in tow) to drive to Orlando, getting to the hotel around 3:30 (frequent stops and lunch delayed arrival time.) Got to the church after 5... luckily the ceremony was a little late in starting! Then there was waiting for the pics to be done, cocktail hour, and reception. It was a nice wedding, quite fancy for Florida. Sunday am: breakfast brunch with the family at the hotel (nice hotel, very posh) and then the 4+ hour drive back to Dowling Park... dinner with both grandparents and sleep again at the lodge. Left for Jacksonville this am around 8, flight left at 12ish, then waited for the car to pick us up at the airport... the original driver assigned to us broke down, so we had to wait for another. (and I'm planning on going to rehearsal tonight?? Am I crazy?!)

Total time in the air/plane: less than 4 hours.
Total time on the roads in Florida: at least 12 hours. (yawn.)

One thing I learned this weekend... I guess it's something I already knew, but saw it in action. We, the young, certainly shouldn't think we have a lock on the concept of love. Sure, we feel its hormonal/emotional/giddy side perhaps more than the "veterans", but what they have is perhaps more beautiful - longevity and experience - a love which transcends the emotions of "falling in love" - love in which you choose to love, even when the chips are down. I saw both in action this weekend.
My cousin and her husband were the picture of happy, truly glowing, looking ahead to an incredibly bright future. But then, to see my grandparents and their love in action was almost more amazing - two people who have been together for over 60 years, have seen incredible hardship and tough times (both socially and in their relationship, I am sure), and yet there still exists such a sweet love - my grandmother's concern at leaving my grandfather to come with us to the wedding - my grandfather sweetly taking a nap in my grandmother's bed while she was away.... I can only hope and pray for that kind of love, dedication, selflessness and collective faith in my lifetime.

Supermarket Man

Ok. Only one response to the "analyze the shopping list" game. Too bad for the rest of you. You lose!!

Here's my thought on the scenario:
One of two types of people are coming. Either the girlfriend or the parents. Makes sense, no?

click me!

'Tis a puzzlement....

I often find it interesting to people-watch in the checkout line at the supermarket. You can sometimes learn a lot about a person that way - whether they have kids, live alone, are on a diet, etc, just by what they buy. As is true everywhere, sometimes someone is just more interesting or noteworthy than the rest.

Take a look at the items purchased below, and see what you make of the man in the line next to me last night..... then hit the "comment" button below and tell me your thoughts on his story. (I'll share my ideas about him tomorrow.)

A toilet brush
Fumigation spray
Carpet deodorizer (the sprinkle-and-vacuum kind)
Air freshener/neutralizer
Shaving gel

...hmmm. I have two theories on the items, although both are related...

Two links for the start of the week...

#1. Tee hee hee. I agree with the tiger. :)

#2. Free. A good deed. Takes two seconds. And is appropriate for October. What more could you want?

Knitting and Murder

(interesting combination, no?)

Now that the weather is turning cooler, I am in a knitting mood again. It's not easy to knit in the summer... too hot for all that yarn. But fall makes me think of chilly days and bundling up in cozy things, which makes me want to be crafty. This summer, I had an early inspiration - I was going to take on the big project I'd been afraid of - a sweater. I had a recipient in mind and was ready to start searching for patterns and yarn... but alas, the road of life threw me a nasty blind curve, and that project has been scrapped. I still like the sweater idea, but need a person if I am to make one, since I am not ready to put that much effort on something for myself at the moment. I guess I need some inspiration. Anyone have any ideas for a project?

Oh yes. Now to the "murder" portion of the post. I saw the movie Mystic River last night. I had no inclination to see it when it had been in the theatres, even after it was nominated for Academy Awards. Anyway, saw it last night and found it to be very interesting. Basically, it's a murder mystery set in Boston involving three men who had been childhood friends who ended up taking very different paths in life, and how their lives intertwine again through the murder of one man's daughter. I thought it was well done, with some strong performances (Sean Penn and Tim Robbins won Oscars for it, and I thought Marcia Gay Harden was very good as well) and an ending I didn't anticipate. My dad had wanted to see it because it was directed by a favorite of his, Clint Eastwood. I recommend it, but suggest that if you're not a fan of excessive use of the "f" word, you may want to avoid it.

One last thing: almost bought the "Law and Order" book today at B&N. It was on sale for $4.95! Had a lot of interesting stills of crime scenes they created and the making of the series. Maybe I'll go back for it, being the addict I am... like I need another book! (doink doink!)

"...We are fairies down to the feet."

Today was a day-long rehearsal for Iolanthe. Such days are both a blessing and a curse - good, in terms of getting a lot done - bad, in terms of the looooong hours. I came prepared for what I thought would be a lot of "hurry-up-and-wait" time... a knitting project, notecards to be written, the score on CD to practice, etc... only to get to none of it. We didn't even really get a lunch break! They kept us uber busy a large majority of the time. It was a good rehearsal, though - costume fitting, pretty much solidifying the finales of acts 1&2, etc. However, considering the lack of a proper lunchbreak and the overabundance of goodies brought to rehearsal, I must confess that I am guilty of consuming half a bagel, two donuts (chocolate and Bavarian creme), a brownie and coffee (and triscuts and carrots I brought from home). How is one to remain in fairy form with such things around?? (any friends of Atkins would have had a coniption fit!)

However, I became the joke of the day after an incident between my derriere, a bench, and a cup of mint tea. (You're smart, figure it out.) Hey - at least I was minty fresh?

Uy. Yeah, it's time for bed. Night night.

Interesting Observation

I am eons behind in filing any of my 'important paperwork' and discovered some recent cell phone bills in the pile of file-able things. Compare and contrast two bills... August and September of this year:

Plan: 300 general minutes, unlimited nights and weekends.

7/21-8/20: used 223 general, 447 unlimited. (670 min.)
8/21-9/20: used 28 general, 148 unlimited. (176 min.)

...interesting how things change...

vineyard photographic moments

Peter was not as prolific as usual with photos this weekend, but some nice ones can be found here. I like this one of my 'brass ring ride' on the Flying Horses, and this one in Edgartown at the bus stop.

Can't I just go and live there? Or at least hide there for a while? The idea of running away from home is rather appealing these days...

Columbus Day 2004

It was a very good idea to get away for the weekend. With the way that things have been going, some kind of escape was overdue. Here are some tidbits and observations from the past 3 days:

1. I have decided that I really must live near the ocean. I don't care how. It needs to be done. I want a beach house. And I really don't care if it is my only house, either. I guess I'll have to start buying lottery tickets or something... that's the only way it will work, knowing that anything, anywhere with a ocean view is going to cost more than I could ever make in a lifetime.
2. I hate driving by myself. Locally/short distances, fine. Long distances... absolutely not. Especially when you get stuck in endless miles of traffic in Connecticut on the way home. There is no one there to distract you, so instead you go insane. (this must be amusing for other drivers to watch, however.)
3. Went on the Flying Horses on Sunday. Guess who caught the brass ring? :) woo hoo!
4. Next time I go to the Vineyard, (if it is not the summer) I am bringing my Jeep. I'll suck it up and pay the $70. I want to drive around.
5. It really really bites that my closest friend lives over 200 miles away.
6. My favorite mode of transportation really is by boat. It doesn't matter what kind. Rowboats, sailboats, ferries, cruise ships... heck, I'd even love a raft made out of logs. The water and the wind and the salty air are lacking in my life.
7. I really don't like being a third wheel. I got spoiled for a little while, but my old place has returned. Grr... blast and wretch. (B&P, I adore you and do honestly like hanging out with you... please don't take this grumpy girl's words the wrong way!)
8. Forgot to buy some fudge to bring home today, but did eat some. Yum. Fudge and salt water taffy are such 'beachy' sweets.
9. Thank you, Peter, for the books. It was sweet of you to think of them after reading my book post the other day. :)
10. How did the Lowe's know that wallpaper removal yesterday morning would be just the therapy I needed after the craziness of last week? It's amazing how satisfying it can be to rip things off the walls...
11. How much do I really want to just run away from my life and go back and hide here in a lovely blue house called Five Gates ? Especially since I know where they hide a spare key?

Thank you, Lowes and Woods, for a lovely weekend. I really did have a good time, and it was so necessary. Thank you thank you thank you!

Yawn. Time for a hot shower... my bed is calling my name, and unfortunately there is work tomorrow. (at least it is a short week and there is a payday at the end of it... it's the small things.) How many days until the next day off??

Good, Not-so-good...

Good: Today was Lee Denim Day at work. Donate $5 to Breast Cancer Research and get to wear jeans to work. yay. Another good way to do something for Breast Cancer Awareness Month is to click here. Free and helpful to others... definately good.
Not-so-good: I should be watching the presidential debate. I should be trying to educate myself on the political front. I should care about voting for a president. But I really don't have the energy to care... and would just rather move to Canada. Or maybe England. Or maybe start my own country.
Good: Educator Appreciation weekend at Border's. They had a reception today - raffle tickets for baskets of books and things, free coffee and cookies and cake, and a 'goody bag' with a load of promo stuff, a book of poetry, a children's book, 2 CD's, etc. And 25% off books and music. Muy Bueno.
Not-so-good: The fact that in recent weeks my personality has come to resemble that of a favorite children's character... Eeyore. Grey cloud and all.
Good: Columbus Day weekend. No work on Monday. Leaving to go to Martha's Vineyard tomorrow morning. Actual socialization with friends, a big novelty when you find that all of your friends live far away. An escape from the monotony and humdrum existence at home. Very necessary, even if I don't look forward to the long drive by myself.

I could keep this up, but I am dead tired and need to get a good start in the morning. It's been a long week, both emotionally and physically. I dragged myself through most of it rather reluctantly, practically counting the minutes until 3:00 this afternoon. Well, here's to the weekend - and hopefully a better state of mind when I return... which would be good.

Book stuff

Time to update the whole book thing. I decided to add a new catagory of books I've recently finished. Lately I've been doing a lot more reading, for various reasons, and figure I should share. A lot of it has to do with faith and religion and relationships... hmmm. I wonder why. (It's a long post. So beware.) Let me know if any of the links are screwy.

Wrestling With God. This one was excellent. Among other things, it compares The Wizard of Oz, The Matrix, Star Wars (the original ones) and the story of Jesus in the desert (being tempted and tested) - with how we all end up with some kind of crazy catalist in our lives (the "tornado") which spins us into a strange, frightening and lonely place of self-discovery and crisis and questioning (the desert). It's not preachy. I've read other "Christian" books before, and this one is quite different. It inspires you to seek actual faith, not just rely on 'religion' as a crutch.

The Christian Culture Survival Guide. This was amusing, from the same publisher as the one above. It was written by a guy who grew up in a real strict Southern Baptist Bible thumpin' family and has since explored many other genres of Christianity as well. He finds a way to explain things that only the 'church kids' have experienced. Really, the subtitle says it all... The Misadventures of an Outsider on the Inside. (I can relate!) I got this one out of pure curiosity - and it was on sale!

The Dirt on Breaking Up. This one was sent to me by my aunt, who I adore and think is wonderful. It had some helpful information, but was geared more towards a much younger crowd (as evidenced by the website.).

Two more on the "Currently Reading" front:

Mere Christianity, by C.S.Lewis. I was required to read it in freshman seminar in college, and honestly remember nothing about it except the title and author. Now, I find it is much more interesting, and appropriate. It's not big in size, but amazingly dense... it argues Christianity and principles/doctorine from an interesting angle - Lewis was a staunch Atheist for most of his life, and then became a man of faith through personal searching, questioning, rationalizing, and through conversations with other intellectual and literal friends like Tolkien. So much of what he has said (so far) resounds with me. I highly reccomend it to both people who agree and who disagree with Christianity... I think it provides interesting food for thought.

Define the Relationship (A candid look at breaking up, making up, and dating well.) Also from my dear Aunt E.. I am still only in the midst of chapter 1, but I will be able to report more at another time. So far, it has started to open the can of worms called communication (or should it be called miscommunication?). I just hope it won't be too preachy... I hate that.

Still reading Things You Should Know By Now (see sidebar for the link) but I will probably put it aside for a while since my dearest pal Rebecca wants to borrow it... and I will see her this weekend, on Martha's Vineyard! :)

(In looking at this post, I see a big need to read some fiction. Any good suggestions as to non-depressing good lose-yourself-in-them-books?)

Answer

Well, congratulations are in order to my mystery comment person... Someone plagued with harpaxophobia suffers from a fear of thieves or robbers (or thievery/robberies).

Anonymous... if you are indeed so smart, then why hide yourself?

strange tidbit

I learned this word at dinner last night...

HARPAXOPHOBIA

Do you know what this is a fear of? Leave a comment if you do. Answer to follow...

Hmm. Kind of scary, if you think about it...

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deson't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

(Yes, this was a forward that I got. I'm sure you've gotten it, too - but it's just so strangely fascinating to me, so I shared.)

Strange combination of stuff...

First subject: I saw the strangest commercial today for an LG Refrigerator. It seems like a nice refrigerator and all, as far as refrigerators go - stainless, sleek look, ice and water in the door, etc.... and a TELEVISION! Who in the name of all that is good and normal needs a &$%@&#! tv in the door of their fridge?!? Oh, wait. That's right. Market a stupid product to the obese Americans!

Next subject: our house. It's leaking. No, not because of the post-hurricane rain we're experiencing today, but internally. Something is terribly wrong upstairs, and the downstairs bathroom and closet and basement ceiling are all wet. The plumbing is the problem, and the super isn't coming until Saturday or Sunday. Meanwhile, we're taking amazingly fast showers and praying that the walls don't come apart. What joy. No wonder our basement has been getting mustier smelling.

Last subject: Back-to-school-night. Remember mom and dad heading out to school one night in September to talk to the teachers and read the cute note you left in your desk for them? Our school's BTSN is tonight. And I so don't want to be there. It's not like anyone cares to come up and speak to a "special area" teacher. You just sit there and eat cookies because you are so bored. And it's raining, which makes the commute and parking issues a joy. Yay.

...I know, I know - I'm all sunshine-and-flowers lately... you may not believe me, but I am trying to improve!

well, at least I know I'm consistent...

This afternoon, being the fine afternoon that it was, my parents decided to get outside and asked me to come along. We ended up going mini-golfing... at a place I hadn't been since May 24th. (yes, I do remember the date I was last there... although not because of the golfing!) Well, my previous visit yielded some sketchy scoring... many retries and quite a few balls ending up on the gravel instead of the 'green'. However, none of that mattered in the least, as it was hilariously fun.

Well, this time I must say that my scores were probably similar to the previous run on the course, had actual scoring come into play. Par for the 18 holes was 47. My score was 59... the loser of the group. However, I came into my own in the back 9, only 2 above par, and the winner of those holes. (being 10 above par on the front 9 is what killed me!)

At least I wasn't the only one in the group that ended up with 'gravel balls'... although I did rack up the most! I guess eye-hand-putter coordination is not a strong suit of mine...

four random thoughts for saturday

1. Happy Yom Kippur. Too bad it didn't fall on a weekday, or we'd have the day off. :(
2. Last night, went to Queens with mom and dad to meet up with a bunch of family for a big dinner (my great aunt was visiting from Georgia). V. nice time.
3. Random poetry I found...
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.
4. Waiting.... waiting... waiting... waiting... a week of waiting! :c/

I'm now off to spend my morning at the supermarket. Oh, Joy! Do Saturdays get any better than this?

regression?

Recently, I was reminded of something I used to say in college. It is funny, sure, but also perhaps holds a bit of sense in it as well. One can never be too careful, you know...

Boys are dumb, and we should throw rocks at them.

Is it obvious that it's not a good day? Grr.

100 things

A very long time ago, Becky made a list of 100 things about herself. (I forget where the inspiration came from.) I was inspired by this... and thought that it would be an interesting thing to do myself. Well, I started one once, and found it again recently. I had to change some things, but I still am only up to 61! I'll have to keep working - it's harder than you think to come up with 100 random facts about yourself. Here are a few from my list....

9. I was 'dethroned' from my position of Supreme Queen of "The Club" on 04/30/04.
18. One of my apartment-mates in college was born on exactly the same day as me. (yay for Flag Day babies!)
26. I want to learn to tango.
29. I also want to learn how to fence. (yay for swordfighting!)
39. I crave triscuts.
41. I can fold my tongue in three. (like a W.)

I know. More than a little random... but I'm scrounging for something to post about. (shrug)

hello, space cadet...

This is sad. Really really sad. Yesterday was one of those days with a lot of deep thinking and stressing and obsessing and worrying and whatnot... which is awful, since it was also a day off from school (yay for Jewish holidays!). Anyway, my brain was swirling with so many things as I drove to rehearsal last night that I missed a turn and ended up getting lost. LOST... on the way to a place I'd driven to twice a week all winter and spring, and several times already this fall!!! How incredibly awful is that?! And it made me late! Grrr.

(at least I was able to figure myself out and actually get there... but not before pandemonium ensued!) Stupid girl! :/

odometer milestone and books

Yesterday, on my way to rehearsal, I happened to look down at the odometer of my Jeep and was happily surprised to observe a milestone (palendrome, really) - 011110. (you can now ooh and aah appreciatively...) I know. I'm a dork. Whatever.

Thought I'd update the "currently reading" catagory as well, since I have found a new book... actually, several. Things You Should Know By Now is a lot like Quarterlife Crisis, but lighter and funnier. It has chapters with titles like "First Dates are Hard, Except on TV," "Financial Procrastination Will Eat You For Lunch," "How To Buy Groceries," and "How To Cook Eggs a Bunch of Different Ways." I have a few others in the pipeline as well, (has anyone ever known me to actually read just one book at a time?) but thought this one might be worth sharing.

Remember

On days like today, we realize that so many of our own personal concerns and problems seem almost petty and unimportant when we remember that others have had such amazing tragedy enter their lives. I'm not downplaying the fact that we all have valid problems and concerns in our lives, because we do. It's just that I think there are some things that supercede us all.

Reflections like this make you so thankful for what you do have - the people in your life that you care about, the opportunities that you have, the ability to love and laugh and learn and give. Count your blessings. Be thankful. Remember to tell people that you love them. Don't take things for granted. We can't let tragedy corrupt the human spirit and only bring us down... use it to find the good, to learn from it instead of being destroyed by it.

So my friends, I leave you with this - I love you and am thankful that you're a part of my life.

Grumble.

First day of school. Pouring rain, like the shower. All day. Crappy schedule for the year. Two lunch duties and line duty. An 8-minute prep one day. Principal switch at the two schools. (how many days are left????) Health insurance claim chaos letter in mail. Lawyer letter for car accident in mail. Damp. Tired. Grumpy. Angry. Disappointed. Lonely. Heartbroken. Frustrated.

... so, how was your day?

Labor Day Weekend 2004

Hope you all have good plans for the holiday – I don’t. I can’t believe that the summer is over. It was, honestly, the best summer of my life. I played, I had great adventures, I lived life fully, I fell in love. The past two weeks, though? Well, the highest highs go with the lowest lows, I guess.

I hate to say this, but I fear that the hope I’ve been clinging to is slipping away from my clenched fists. I hoped and prayed that this week maybe things could start to mend, or at least questions be resolved… but silence proved me wrong. I will continue to hope, continue to pray… but as hard as it is I need to try to scrape myself up and try to plug along as best I can, try to figure myself out – who I am and who I am meant to become.

I still hurt… I still hope... I still pray… I still love.

Stuck in my head

Track 3 of the CD I mentioned the other day is stuck in my head, and feels strangely appropriate, given the current circumstances. Guess I just have to keep plugging along and praying. Lots of praying.

Kamikaze Squirrel!

I met my mother at the mall today to help her buy a gift for her friend's birthday. On my way home, I watched a squirrel dart out onto a four-lane street, while the one chasing it decided to stay on the curb and wait for me to drive by. Well, when squirrel #1 realized it wasn't being followed, it turned around to run back... and ran into my car. Sadness!! This is the first death associated with my Jeep - although it is the second vehicular-roadkill-death I am responsible for. (the other was a turtle... and in little Bing, the poor thing was like a speedbump!) :(

How sad. Poor dumb squirrel.

Two things for Saturday

Thing #1: Last week, I auditioned with the same operetta company that I performed with in the spring. Early this week, they called to offer me the role of Celia in their upcoming production of Iolanthe. Never had a real role in anything before... exciting and more than a little nerve-wracking!! Hope I can live up to their expectations... Rehearsals actually start already on Monday. I'll keep you posted.

Thing #2: I was lent a CD a week ago (which is now on permanent loan, I think), that I swore I could never listen to again... but ironically, I have been able to listen to only this cd when I have been in my Jeep. Especially track #1, which was specifically pointed out to me. The cd is Sea of No Cares by Great Big Sea. Check it out. Read the lyrics. I like their style. (for different reasons, it both makes me happy and very sad to listen to it, but that's my own kettle of fish.)

Can you tell I'm trying to be a little more positive? It takes an awful effort... but I'm trying.

The end (?) of an eternal week

Two quotes. Very different. Read them, don't read them. Take them seriously, or don't. Comment, argue, agree, ignore. Whatever. Take them or leave them, I don't care. I'm just putting them here. Maybe someone who thinks too hard will try to analyze me... maybe I need to be put in Bergen Pines, maybe I need a swift kick in the butt, maybe I just need a hug.


Deep down, I'm pretty superficial.
-Ava Gardner

A 'no' uttered from the deepest conviction is better and greater than a 'yes' merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.
-Mahatma Gandhi

Question into the void....

Why is it that in listening to what my heart was telling me I have now lost everything? ...direction, purpose, happiness, contentedness, my best friend, my heart itself... gone.

God, why is it that you had to ask me for everything? Where is there love in that? Where is the reason? Why must I have to make such a sacrifice? What is the point?? What lesson am I supposed to learn in having my heart tear in two?

Why is this so?

Do you ever have moments of self revelation/insight (brought on either by personal soul-searching or with the help of others - or both) which lead you to question everything about yourself? It's really frightfully scary and leaves you with no real sense of clarity... at least it seems to be the result I get. All I get is a lot of sturm und drang and then an emotional hangover. Personally, I don't like the lack of control (which is part of the problem, yes I know.). I know that such moments really are beneficial in the whole scheme of things, but at the time, there is an enormous chasm between diagnosing the issues and actually solving them.

Well, there's nothing that can be done about it right now, so I might as well go to bed.

Two more days!

Woo hoo, woo hoo... two more days left of the summer job! It's been a good job, but I will be glad to have it done with. Met some good people, had some fun, ate some cake, answered too many phones... well, I am thankful for it and how it fell into place. I'm sure I'll miss the monotony when I'm back in the classroom again. But at least that won't start just yet... I have a little time before I have to go back! :)

This summer has gone by so amazingly quickly. Didn't I just start this job, not finish eight weeks of it? It's been a fantastic summer so far, though - despite the job, I've been really busy and done a lot of fun things. I guess it's just how it goes - work hard, play hard and then miss president is a happy girl. :)

I've heard of a lot of wierdness....

...but this takes the cake.

My friend Kirsten told me about a blurb she saw on the news about something called Cuddle Parties. Supposedly you go and cuddle with people to help make you a better and more contented person. It's nothing sexual... just cuddling. Interesting and aggreeable in concept - but also kind of skeevy, considering you probably don't know the people!! Look at the site and decide for yourself whether a Cuddle Party is for you. I think I'll pass.

Cliccate su junefourteenth, punto, blogspot, punto, com!

For Christmas 2001, I got a page-a-day calandar of Italian words and phrases. This was something I'd really wanted (since the year before when they sold out around us!) and actually kept it after the year was over. I figure that when I eventually get to Italy, I can use some of the more interesting phrases... just to confuse the locals. Here are a few of the more creative ones....

Dove vai in quel vestino? (Where are you going in that skimpy dress?)
Mi stanno bene questi pantaloni con la zampa d'elefante? (Do these bellbottoms look good on me? - literally: Do these pants with elephant legs look good on me?)
Hanno torvato l'assassino? (Have they found the assassin?)
Smetta di provarci! (Stop hitting on me!) (wait... that one might come in handy with those cheeky Italian men!)

Aren't they fun?! Ciao, bambinos!

Is tomorrow already Monday again?

Why do things like that happen? It's depressing when you realize that one-seventh of your life is actually spent on Monday. Scary.

On Thursday evening, I went to see De-Lovely. I thought it was a good movie - a little lengthy, perhaps, but good. I've been well aware of Cole Porter's music, of course - I sang several of his pieces in college and have heard countless others. It was interesting to learn about his life, at least in the Hollywood storytelling of it. (I should really now investigate to see how truthful they stayed in the retelling.) Kevin Klein made a convincing composer, and Ashley Judd is annoyingly beautiful as Linda Lee Porter, which makes you happy and angry at the same time. The music, of course, was very good - interesting use of the songs, some in the typical movie-musical everyone-joins-in-singing-and-dancing scenarios, but others woven into the story at parties or events or whatnot. Interesting use of people singing, too - pop artists, jazz people, Broadway people, untrained people, etc. I've been loving the soundtrack as well - actually bought it before I saw the film.

Other than that, the weekend was busy. Highlights include painting ceramic pottery, a shoe expidition which yielded no shoes, but instead a book and some dishes, vegging and watching movies, a bridal shower and a girly nails/movie/takeout kind of evening too. I am sleepy - do I really have to go to work tomorrow? Oh, the injustice, the insanity, the unfairness of it all!

New York, New York, a wonderful town...

...The bronx is up and the battery's down, and people ride in a hole in the ground...

On Sunday, Matt and I went on a day trip. I love day trips – especially ones in which there is no real plan, just some suggestions or ideas. The main idea of the day was Manhattan.  So, we took the ferry into the city and from there the bus to Times Square. There we visited TRU – a fun place to see, but very crowded on a summer Sunday! By then we were hungry, and Matt had the brilliant suggestion to hop on the subway and go to Gray’s Papaya for an essential New York lunch, which I had never had before!! (Oh - and that link's home will make more sense as you keep reading...)  Then, to my surprise, we walked to this park (another link), which is as lovely in person as it looks on the silver screen, in one of my favorite movies. After that, it was on to the MET, but by the time we walked there it was near closing, so we quickly changed the plan, and went off to Chinatown! Had some interesting drinks with tapioca beads in them (interesting and strange to chew your drink, let me tell you!) and wandered around, up and down and in and out of streets before going to Little Italy for some gelato. Mmmm….. hazlenut gelato…. (happy sigh)
…but I digress. Our last stop of the day – by this time evening – was to the Empire State Building to see the city all lit up in the dark. Absolutely amazing, and worth the security/ticket/elevator wait, let me tell you! :)

What a lovely day it was.   Don't you love New York in the Fall (er... Summer)?

Back to work and the phones...

Well, the joy of returning to work was just so... joyful... that I had to comment. The receptionist is away...again, meaning that I am back at the switchboard for four hours every afternoon this week. (can't you just feel the excitement radiating off the screen??)

People need to learn this little tidbit about calling an office- the person you first speak to in an office is probably not knowledgable about anything that you have to say or any question you might have. Don't try to explain it to them. Politely ask for someone to help you, and don't get mad at the receptionist if said person a) does not pick up their phone, even though they are sitting at the desk, or b) they get someone's voice mail. There is nothing that the receptionist can do about such things. AHHHH!
 
On the other hand, sitting there has afforded me a few minutes to learn to play Spider Solitare, which I thankfully do not have on my computer at home. I am fairly awful at it, but it is addictive.  :)

In other news, I finished Piano Shop before I went to CO. It was very good, and would be a good choice for someone interested in pianos - musician or not.  I was lent the book Lizard, by Banana Yoshimoto as an airplane read. I'm still working on it, but it is interesting. Yoshimoto is a Japanese author of contemporary fiction, and the American translator's flow is very easy to follow.  The short stories are interesting, if not strange, and have to do with various young Japanese characters and a general theme of love and relationships.  Next up on the list is Eragon, by Christopher Paolini, the uber child who wrote a bestseller.

Home again, home again, jiggedy jig....

Hello, and greetings from Colorado! I arrived home late last night after a whirlwind 4 days there and back. Here's the trip in a nutshell (well, maybe not a nutshell... maybe more like a coconut shell, since I'm wordy...)
 
Friday: At 6am, Matt came to take me to the airport. :)  Then I flew from here to Minneapolis, and from there on to Colorado Springs.  Met Aunt E at the airport, and had to wait 2 hours for my suitcase - we all made it off the plane, but the luggage didn't, due to an amazing lightning and waterfall-like rainstorm outside.  Ate lunch at the airport, then finally went back to Aunt E's before meeting Tracey (my cousin) and her two kids for dinner and a movie.  I was amazingly bushed when my head hit the pillow that night!
Saturday: Everyone went to breakfast at Mimi's (New Orleans style decor... humungous amounts of food!) and then Aunt E, Brianna and I went shopping... three generations all together. Aunt E spoiled us two girls by buying us clothes. Then we went to a girly movie before taking Bri home. Aunt E and I went to a cute 50's diner for dinner, then vegged out with movies at home.
Sunday: Outdoor adventure day! Took the cog railway up to Pike's Peak (which is visable from Aunt E's house!!) and then went to Garden of the Gods. Both were spectacularly amazing. I hope my pictures come out half as good as the views actually were! Then we went to a cool place for pizza and on for some ice cream at Coldstone Creamery. Mmmmm! (cake batter ice cream with snickers... yummy!!)
Monday: Breakfast with everyone at Perkins, then Aunt E and the kids and I went to the third movie of the weekend before heading off to the airport. Uneventful trip back, thanks to the loan of a DVD player and the three-seat row that was mine alone on the longer leg of the flight!
 
Fun times! I might have pictures to post in the coming days... we will have to see! :)
(If any of the links are faulty, let me know. I didn't check them all!)

Is this thing working right?

This is a test.... this is only a test. :)

Kids are funny!

I'm going to be off to Colorado in a week and a half to visit my aunt... which is very exciting! My cousin lives in the same town, and her two kids are looking forward to my visit, too. I've only once met my cousin's daughter - the eldest - when she was a baby, and I've never met her brother. (Obviously, I've seen pictures, tho.) My aunt was telling them about me the other day and mentioned that I teach music. This was supposedly cause for joy - their music teacher is supposedly the nicest... except when she doesn't sleep well. Then she's mean. But it doesn't seem to happen often, so as long as I get some sleep while I'm there, I guess I'm in the clear. :)

Happy Fourth of July!

yes, I know it is the fifth of July now, but I hope you did have a happy Fourth. I know I did! Saw fireworks twice, did loads of other fun things (like initiate my Jeep to the world of off-roading!!) and generally had a great weekend.

For those of you who are pyros but want to keep your fingers intact, here are some fun fireworks that you can play with safely.... (thanks, Matt!)

http://www.lavta.org/wheelskids/firewrk4.html

http://www2.aristotle.net/july4th/fireworks/show.html

http://www.crayola.com/kids/games/console.cfm?game=fireworks&ok=true

Enjoy! :)

New Job

I started my new (summer) job on Monday. I work for a local insurance company, as a mail-girl/assistant receptionist. It's a good job, but it will take some getting used to.
The mail-girl part isn't going to be so hard, as soon as I get the schedule down. There is a specific time of the day for everything - filing, going to the post office, sorting mail, picking up mail, inter-office mail, etc.... and I need to get the hang of the well-used inter-office mail system. For a small place they run it very efficiently - as long as I can remember the order that things go, that is!
The phones, however, may be the true challenge. I consider myself to be a well-educated person, but this takes a special skill. There are a million lines, or so it seems, and everyone has a specific extension - but some people are not supposed to get the calls (even if you ask to speak to them) and others go directly to voice mail, and others.... oh, I don't even know. The first person I spoke to got hung up on.... oops!
I'll get it all eventually.... I hope.

Wind in my hair, sand between my toes...

... oh, bliss. :)

Took a roadtrip yesterday to the shore. Yay!! It's fun to go on a day when they say there will be massive thunderstorms for several reasons: (1)Not as many people go, due to the threat of rain (2)The ocean gets really moody - which I love (3)It leaves all plans up in the air - you don't know what will happen next!

Well, the day started off far away from the ocean - at the DMV. (or the Motor Vehicle Commission, as it has been renamed.) Two stinking hours wait to renew my license! Oh, the joy! But at least it is done for another 4 years.

So, back to the beach.... drove down and did fun things, like eat taffy, drink slurpees, play skeeball (beginners luck made me fairly good!), walk on the sand, hang out. Fun times! Makes me want to ditch it all and blow everything on a shore house for the summer! :)

HB WJB,JR!

Happy Birthday, Dad! :)

Kind Deed Award!

Today was the last day for students in our school district, and both schools had awards ceremonies, which meant I sat through 2.5 hours of name-calling and clapping (and there was more, actually... but luckily I could skip out of that!) Anyway, at the elementary school they have Kind Deed Awards - the kids can nominate each other for acts of kindness, teachers can nominate students (or teachers), etc. It's really sweet, usually - you get things like, "This award goes to James for lending me snack money when I forgot mine, from Danny." Really cute. Well, imagine my surprise when they called my name today and I got an award for being "a great music teacher." from a cute second grade girl. Something like that is enough to make not just your day, but your whole week! :) grin (:

Retro fun!

Last night, Matt and I went to a drive-in theatre to see Shrek 2. I didn't know drive-ins were so much fun! The concept is obvious, of course - you bring your car and watch the movie. There were so many people there - tons of them, everywhere! The place we went to has 3 movies running simultaneously. Most people don't even stay in the cars - you bring chairs or blankets and sit outside, leaving your car doors (or back or whatever) open to hear the sound. It's like picnicing with a movie! Tres fun. And not at all the skanky make-out pit that some people want you to believe, although I'm sure you can make of it what you want, like most things. A fun, retro experience, and a cute movie to boot. :) If you live nearby, I say - go!

An added note: HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!! :)

Flag Day festivities

Well, now that june fourteenth has come and gone, I will hopefully get a few minutes to breathe. I have had something each evening for one week straight! Friday I was in the city, Saturday night out with Alisa (and the show in the daytime) Sunday a wedding and birthday dinner with the folks, Monday (the actual Flag Day) there was rehearsal, Tuesday night was the last show, last night was another birthday dinner (with Matt) and tonight is the end-of-the-year dinner for work. YAWN! But for the most part it has all been lovely. This year, I think, will be one of the best. :) Hey - it's all ready better than some other years, and I'm only four days into it!!

Unintentional Driving Adventure

This morning I went to the wedding of two people who met while doing a show with the G&S company I'm a part of... They met there, started seeing each other, and he supposedly proposed in the middle of a rehearsal. It was a very nice wedding, and in a beautiful location - directly across from the NYC skyline.

...But that's not the adventurous part. Driving home was. I missed the turn to get me back on the road I'd taken there and ended up on a scenic tour of towns along the Hudson... Starting in Weehawken (home of the Arron Burr-Alexander Hamilton duel that I wrote about in 7th grade), then in West New York (NJ), Guttenberg, North Bergen, Fairfield (?), North Bergen again, and who knows where else... nerve-wracking? Yes. Confusing? Sure. Typical for me to be lost like that? Absolutely. But at least my inner compass told me that if I kept Manhattan on my right I would be going the right way. That worked, actually, and eventually I met up with the road I wanted, just much further along it than I had anticipated. sigh. At least I made it home again. :)

Note to M.L. - If you're reading this, then I guess you found me out. Well, we all have our secrets..... :)

Manhattan Adventure

Last night there was an adventure to be had in Manhattan. Matt and I went in to see an advance screening of The Terminal(go and see it... I highly reccomend it!) and then took an urban hike, wandering around in big circles, everywhere from Times Square to the Empire State Building to Bryant Park to right off of Resturaunt Row, where there is a fantastic bakery - Amy's Bread. (Their cookies are enormous and yummy... and the breads look incredible as well.) It was a nice night to be wandering the city and riding on the ferry, and a lovely evening altogether. I've not often gone on night-time pedestrian adventures in cities (usually the idea is not a good or safe one - this was a first for me in NYC) but this one was tres fun.

Randomness of a Friday

Wish you were here? I do! But I will be somewhere around here later on this evening... and that works in the meantime! :)

It Did Not Rain!!

...well, it did, a little drizzle. But we pushed ahead anyway, and went through the concert like we were on speed... 45 minutes and everything was done! Whoosh!
I don't think I have ever been so neurotic about the weather before... Weather.com said rain from noon on (which it didn't do) and Accuweather.com said partial cloud/sun between 7 and 8pm, and the radio station I listened to in the car told me 40% chance of rain. My principal was constantly looking at updated Dopplar radar graphs and other colorful map/chart/whatevers... and the stress was on. But I said we should try it anyway, and we did, and it is OVER!

...the rejoicing and merriment can now begin....

It Can't Rain Tomorrow!

...well, it can. Just not when I am supposed to have this stinking concert. I spent two and a half hours outside this morning in preparation (not to mention the rest of the week as well) and afterwards found myself all hot and bothered... literally!! I don't care if it pours tonight. I don't care if it pours tomorrow morning. I don't care if it pours after 8ish tomorrow. Just not when we need to do this stupid concert. Grr.

And why are half of my sidebar things all the way at the bottom of the page? Everything looks ok in the template... did I mess up the html somehow? (especially since I don't know what I'm doing, really?)

Potter, Patience, Chaos, Craziness and Thunderstorms?!

'ello. Weekend update:
Went to see Harry Potter at the IMAX on Friday! Very Good movie, and a fun night all around. :)
Saturday brought the Woods on a little road trip. We went to Ikea and puttered around before I had to get ready for the show. Pics are available for viewing via World Wide Photography for both events. After the show, Becky, Peter, Matt and I all hung out a little bit, which was very good. Everyone seemed to enjoy the show, and it was nice to have people there to see me! :)
Sunday - another show, more people to visit with. Mom and Dad came to the matinee, as did other friends Christie and Bud and also Laura, the accompanist extrodinaire. What a busy weekend!!

Chaos and Craziness abound this week at work as we prepare for the Spring Concert - the Woodstock of Elementary school. Pray that there are no Thunderstorms (or rain or anything like it) Thursday night - the concert needs to be outside and if it rains it will have to be on June Fourteenth... which we all know is this girl's favorite holiday!!! It should be a law that no concerts are to be on that day!! A make-up concert on Monday will make Miss President one VERY unhappy person. :c/ Oh, Stress!!!

Mourning

As I was pulling into my spot today as I came home from work, I noticed a big bird sitting on the grass right next to my car. A BIG bird... not a sparrow or songbird, but a big one - maybe a hawk or a falcon?? Since we don't get too many of those here in surburbia, I was intrigued. It was brave - did not flinch as I shut the windows of my car, turned it off, and opened the car door. When I started to get out of the car, it moved... and I saw the sadness. A very dead bunny in its claws. I think it is our bunny, the little friend who lives in the brush by the cars and nibbles on the grass. So then I got mad at the bird and said something articulate like...
"You stupid bird! You killed my bunny!"
...as it dragged its lunch away. I think my neighbor heard me.

Dear Bunny, you will be missed. How sad. Stupid bird.

Strange Bits of News...

Strange things are always happening... but these two just have bizarreness written all over them.

1. This one is more than a little strange. A woman named Alberta Martin died on Monday at age 97. But that's not the weird part. She married a Confederate Veteran in 1927 when she was 21... and he was 81. And then they had a child. And he died 4 years later. Then she married his grandson. (it all reads like a soap opera!)Read about it here.

2. What about this one? There's a woman that just gave birth to her 15th child. Fifteenth. Does she want a family or a team? Michelle Duggar of Arkansas is 37 years old and now has 15 children... 13 births, since there are 2 sets of twins. And they say she might want more?!?! Is she crazy? I think children are a good idea, but not fifteen! Uy! (and Ouch!) Don't believe me?

Happy Memorial Day!

Another busy weekend! Yesterday was quite an adventurous day... 7am (yawn!) start to drive down to Six Flags to hit all the coasters we could handle, then a little side trip to dinner at a place on the beach (the beach!!) :) before heading back home. A very long day, but a very good one that left me a tired girl with sand in my sneakers, but with a smile on my slightly sunburned face.

Then today the operetta company sang the National Anthem at the Jackal's game. What an amazing experience, and I even had the honor and surprise of conducting!

Tomorrow will be a girly catch-up day with Alisachka (in lieu of a barbeque or mad sale shopping)... and then by the time night rolls around I will be able to say that this will be the best Memorial Day weekend in memory!

addictive stuff.... may lead to procrastination!

Went mini-golfing again on Monday night (there was much cheating and tampering of scores... but it's all in good fun!) and then found the following link in my Inbox the next day...
Mini Putt... and, of course, addiction has ensued. And now this one today: Bookworm, of which there is a similar version found at MSN Games. Oh, the ways to procrastinate are endless!

giddeyup, horsie!

Busy weekend. On Saturday, Matt and I went horseback riding! Fun stuff to go trail riding, even if your horse (Bandit) only wants to eat and not listen to you until he realizes that you might actually know what you're doing. But fun nonetheless. Although I am a little sore! :o
After riding, we picnic-ed at one of my favorite places - a State Park, which is actually near where he lives. And I learned the rudimentary concepts of how to drive a manual car. Luckily I wasn't too bad a student and had a patient teacher. I didn't make the grinding noise once! :) And I hear that it is quite a step for a guy to let you drive his car... especially when it's a fancy, shiny red one!

Today was a G&S performance at the Loew's theatre in Jersey City. The theatre is very interesting - all guilding and scrollwork and drapery - built in the 20's. It is being restored, but taking a long time, due to the way city governments work. But still a great place to sing and perform. And we had a fairly decent sized crowd, too, which is always good!

And now I am tired and didn't get done what I needed to for work... so I'll have to bust my butt tomorrow morning. O well. You can't be all-work and no play all of the time! Sometimes you need to ditch the work and just PLAY! :)

A Few Thoughts...

1. I know it is the point, but I hate the fact that shows leave you in a lurch when they end their "season finales". ER has left me wondering who (if anyone) is dead after the tunnel car chase. And is Neela going to somehow end up back at County? And Gilmore Girls - How happy am I with the Luke thing, but disgusted with the Dean thing?

2. I need to find a summer job. But I am so tired of retail and the million night closings you have to do as the lower-than-low-girl on the totem pole. Any suggestions as to a summer job? Maybe I'll try to see if I can follow Smacky's footsteps and find a bank. Bank hours are good.

3. Date #3 (4 if you're like mom and count coffee) is Saturday... to go horseback riding. Supposedly he knows how... interesting. Puts a lot of thought into things, I must say. Now if I could just figure out what to do/how to approach/recognize the fact that his birthday is this coming Monday... very stressful thoughts for the relationship challenged.

4. A little German phrase for you: ich bin eine handpuppe (I am a hand-puppet) :)

Happy 17 May!

For those of you clueless people out there, the 17th of May is Norwegian Independance Day... the Norwegian equivalent of the 4th of July. It's cool - there are parades and authentic costumes and stuff. I was actually in the parade in Norway when I was two. Pretty cool, eh?

If you want to find out more about this really cool country (which my mom is from!) check out this website... I still need to check it out myself, but I'm sure it's a good diving board for information on Norway. :)

Happy Syttene Mai!

feels like choir tour...

Today was a performance with the G&S group in CT - we hopped on a bus and went up, did the show (on a teeny stage!) and came home. The experience reminded me of choir tours in days gone by - hanging out on the bus, random rooms as dressing areas (this time a gym), etc. It made me miss it all!

Last night and tonight have been girl nights with mom, as dad is off fighting the battle of Gettysburg with men from church again. Yesterday we went to dinner at California Pizza Kitchen (a favorite!!) and then some shopping. I got a cute summer shirt at Old Navy for $7.99!! After returning home tonight, we had salads at Wendy's and rented Calendar Girls. Fun with mom. :)

But I'd better get off this contraption now that it's thundering outside...

How true is this?

Came accross this today and had a little chuckle. :) Deep stuff, and true! I love them! (And I actually know someone who has played Calvinball! I want to play!)

PS: I meant to say it sooner - my Jeep has come home! It's been a week now and I am tres happy to say that it looks like new again and drives wonderfully. Even though we had a glitch with the radio/cd player when I got it back, even that has been ironed out... and all is right with the world. (Except that the insurances are still fighting - but at least I have my baby!!)

Thank goodness for the Gap Outlet!

Quick post on my morning. We had "teacher caper day" at school, which involves the student council kids in 8th grade coming down to the elementary school for the morning to shadow a teacher. I, of course, got a non-musical student... even though there were no less than EIGHT of our band students there. Well, luckily she only had to deal with three of my classes (before I had to leave for the other school) and vice versa - she wouldn't even sing with the first graders!!

Anyway, I unintentially ended up decorating my white shirt with coffee splatters from a defective travel mug and had to deal with it until I had my very early Tuesday lunchtime (more like a late breakfast, if you ask me! The curse of seeing choirs at lunchtime!). Lucky also that the school is two blocks away from a small shopping mall with a Gap Outlet in it. Run in, try on a shirt, go to the register. The friendly guy cashier asked "Only one thing?" as I placed the shirt down. I pointed to the shirt I was wearing and he nodded understandingly, sending me off with a "No more coffee for you today!" as I paid and left.

Well, at least the shirt was on sale - 20% off! :)

False Alarm

So the car place called me at home today (when I was conveniently at work) to tell me that my car wouldn't be ready... so when I got to the repair place I got the whole spiel. So tomorrow it is. For real this time. But not until after Fiddler on the Roof (with seventh graders! in the cheap seats! woo hoo!)

A blessing on his head, mazel tov, mazel tov! To see a daughter wed, mazel tov, mazel tov! And such a son-in-law, like no one ever saw, the tailor Motel Kamzoil!