Saturday, April 16, 2005


Do you ever wish you could step out of your life and look at it from a new perspective? Actually back up and see things objectively, with bits of the past and future to help you understand the here and now? Yeah, I know we all do sometimes. I guess it just has to do with the fact that I feel like a hampster in its wheel - running, but really not getting anywhere. Maybe I actually am moving forward, even though I can't tell at the moment. I hope so. Maybe I'm not, and an objective look at the situation could help me figure stuff out. I'm not so good with so many unknowns at once - perhaps others like that kind of existance, but I'm better with some things in (relative) order to help me through the unknowns. It's the on-all-fours-and-stumbling-in-the-dark-without-a-flashlight kind of existance that gets to me. I know it's not always like that, and that we do need that sometimes in order to become who we are supposed to be. But that doesn't make it any easier.

sleep. yeah, sleep would be a good idea. goodnight.

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